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August 5th

Aug 05, 2013 -- 8:21am







LINDSAY LOHAN'S new movie "The Canyons" was released on-demand Friday . . . and not surprisingly, there are already videos and screen caps online.

 In preview clips from tonight's "Chelsea Lately", guest host LINDSAY LOHAN makes fun of the supposed bisexuality of HARRY STYLES from ONE DIRECTION and KRISTEN STEWART'S affair.During the discussion of Harry, Lindsay first took a shot at herself, saying, quote, "I've been there."  Then she quotes Harry as saying he's only been with two people, and says, quote, "He's obviously not counting oral."  Then she busts on Kristen over that recent video of her cussing out the paparazzi.  She says, quote, "I'm just excited that Kristen Stewart, you know, finally showed some emotion."Then she adds, quote, "I will say this, of course she hates photographers . . . they got a picture of her kissing a married man in a Mini Cooper." In both cases, Lindsay was obviously reading pre-written jokes, and she tried to pull back a little.  After busting Harry, she said, "Sorry Harry." And during her digs at Kristen, she said, quote, "No, I really do love her.  She's awesome.  I'm a Kristen Stewart fan."

RAVEN-SYMONE basically came out of the closet on Friday by Tweeting, quote, "I can finally get married!  Yay government!  So proud of you."  She later issued a statement saying, quote, "I am very happy that gay marriage is opening up around the country and is being accepted.  I was excited to hear today that more states legalized gay marriage.  I, however, am not currently getting married, but it is great to know I can now, should I wish to."

MEGAN FOX and BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN are expecting their second child.  Megan's rep says, quote, "I can confirm Megan is expecting her second child with her husband Brian.  They are both very happy." Their son Noah Shannon will be a year old in September, and Brian also has an 11-year-old son named Kassius from his relationship with VANESSA MARCIL.  Megan is 27 . . . Brian is 40.

MILEY CYRUS has been voted the Most Cheat-Worthy Celebrity by the guys who use . . . meaning she's the celebrity they'd most want to have an affair with.  Miley took 18.6% of the vote, followed by MILA KUNIS with 12.4%.  The average age of Ashley Madison users is 44.  Miley is 20.  That's slightly gross.

On JERRY SEINFELD'S web series "Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee", CHRIS ROCK said he once gave the PAMELA ANDERSON sex tape to a 15-year-old Make-A-Wish kid who was dying of cancer.  He said the kid is dead now, to which Jerry replied, quote, "But he lived a little more."

 N-word spouting wide receiver RILEY COOPER has been "excused" from Philadelphia Eagles activities to seek counseling.  He hasn't been fired though.  The team says, quote, "He will meet with professionals provided by the Eagles during this period of time to better help him understand how his words have hurt so many, including his teammates."




Major League Baseball is expected to announce the suspensions of about a dozen players for steroids today, including ALEX RODRIGUEZ.  ESPN says A-Rod will likely be suspended for the remainder of this season and all the way through NEXT season.  It's pretty much a guarantee that A-Rod will appeal his suspension.  ESPN says there's a chance that the League WON'T let him play while he appeals, but that's not very likely.

ELLEN DEGENERES will host next year's Oscars, which will air on March 2nd on ABC.  On Friday she Tweeted, quote, "It's official:  I'm hosting the Oscars!  I'd like to thank the Academy, my wife Portia and, oh dear, there goes the orchestra." This will be Ellen's second time hosting . . . she also did it in 2007.  She added, quote, "I am so excited to be hosting the Oscars for the second time.  You know what they say:  the third time's the charm."

With "Grown Ups 2", ADAM SANDLER has yet another poorly-reviewed movie under his belt.  But you know what?  He doesn't care. He says, "I know what they're writing about me.  I could almost write the piece for them by now.  But then remember that I didn't get into movies to please the critics.  I got into it to make people laugh and have fun with my friends."

The DENZEL WASHINGTON-MARK WAHLBERG movie "2 Guns" topped the weekend box office with $27.4 million.  "The Smurfs 2" has earned roughly the same amount, but only because it hit theaters a few days early, on Wednesday.Here are this week's Top 10 movies:

1.  (NEW)  "2 Guns", $27.4 million.

2.  "The Wolverine", $21.7 million.  Up to $95 million in its 2nd week.

3.  (NEW)  "The Smurfs 2", $18.2 million.  Up to $27.8 million since Wednesday.

BILLY BOB THORNTON will star in the upcoming "Fargo" TV series that FX is developing.  As we'd heard, JOEL and ETHAN COEN, who wrote and directed the 1996 movie, are onboard as producers.Billy Bob will be playing, quote, "a manipulative man who meets a small-town insurance salesman and sets him on a path of destruction."  It's a similar role to the one STEVE BUSCEMI played in the movie.BUT, the limited, 10-episode miniseries will have a different story, with a totally different crime . . . although it'll have a similar tone and dark humor as the movie.  The show is expected to premiere sometime next spring.

The upcoming season of "American Horror Story" will star KATHY BATES as an 1830s-era serial killer . . . JESSICA LANGE as a witch . . . and SARAH PAULSON as the witch's daughter.  The season premiere will air in October.





JACK WHITE does NOT like DAN AUERBACH of the BLACK KEYS.  And he doesn't want his kids to go to school with Dan's kid.  In an email to his estranged wife, Jack said, quote, "[Auerbach] gets yet another free rein to follow me around, copy me, and push himself into my world."

Twenty-six years ago, Discovery Channel launched its first Shark Week, As Discovery launches this year’s Shark Week Sunday night, with new features that include a late-night shark talk show, all that has changed. These days, more and more networks want a bite of the action.And that doesn’t bother Discovery a bit.“Shark Week is the destination everyone knows,” says Discovery’s senior director of development, Michael Sorensen. “We’re happy when we see any other shark programming, because it reminds people that Shark Week is coming up.“For us, all shark chatter is good chatter.”Shark chatter recently reached a cacophony, with the highest volume spurred by last month’s campy Syfy shark movie, “Sharknado.” Shark Week kicks off Sunday with the latest installment of “Air Jaws” at 8 p.m. and “Megalodon: The Monster Shark Lives” at 9. It continues Monday with “Return of Jaws” at 9 and “Voodoo Sharks” at 10.Tuesday brings “I Escaped Jaws” at 9 and “Spawn of Jaws” at 10. Wednesday has “Top 10 Sharkdown” at 9 and “Great White Serial Killer” at 10.Thursday has “Sharkpocalypse” at 9 and “Alien Sharks of the Deep” at 10, and the week’s specials conclude Friday with “The Great White Gauntlet” at 8.Each night will wrap up at 11 with “Shark After Dark,” an hour of conversation hosted by comedian Josh Wolf with shark experts, clips from past Shark Weeks and exchanges with viewers.



"The Bachelorette" [9th Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC . . . followed by "The Bachelorette: After the Final Rose" from 10:00 to 11:00 P.M.

 "The Fosters" [1st Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC Family.

"Major Crimes" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on TNT.  Marion Ross, Tim Conway and Doris Roberts guest star as the residents of La Shangri-la apartment complex.

  "The Real Housewives of Orange County" [8th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Bravo.



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